


5 Years, 9 Months and 3 Days of Ignorant Bliss

by Walsingham



Category: Green Wing
Genre: F/M, Gen, Spoilers, mention of domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 23:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3268982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walsingham/pseuds/Walsingham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Holly never had the abortion, but instead left the child with Mac and disappeared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Years, 9 Months and 3 Days of Ignorant Bliss

   Half asleep on his feet, Mac pushed the door to his flat open and headed immediately for the couch, where he collapsed with a sigh, eyes fluttering closed. He'd been working more shifts lately, and if there was a legal limit to how many hours he could work in a row, he was sure he had breached it several times. On top of that there was a new surgeon who started today, a peculiar woman who had come in looking and smelling like she had spent the night in a minicab, and had stirred up all the staff. Times were hard at the moment, and Holly wasn't helping from wherever the hell she was now. He probably could have insisted on child support, but he was managing without. Just.

   He heard a shuffling as someone entered the room, and Mac grudgingly opened one eye to see the neighbour's teenage boy holding what appeared to be a large bundle of blankets. Opening both eyes, Mac smiled and reached out for the heavy blankets, which he held close, feeling the warmth of the body wrapped inside them against his chest. With one hand, Mac fished his wallet out of the front pocket of his backpack and pulled a wrinkled £50 note from it, handing it to the kid. Without a word, the boy took it and shuffled out the still open front door, closing it behind him. Carefully, Mac shifted the blankets aside until the little girl's serene face was uncovered. _His_ little girl. He brushed Mallory's fringe of blonde hair out of her eyes and she shifted in her sleep, thumb secured in her mouth, instinctively curling into the warmth of her father. They stayed like that for a little while longer, until Mac's muscles began to ache. He pushed himself off the couch, one arm securely around the child, and walked slowly to the flat's only bedroom, where both her cot and his bed waited for them. His biking leathers creaked as they rubbed when he leant down to lay the two-year old in her cot. The noise made Mallory stir, and her brow furrowed before her eyes opened and focussed on him.

   "Daddy!"

   Her chubby little arms reached for him and he leant down further into her cot, his hair flopping around her face, tickling her slightly and making her giggle as he kissed her softly on her nose. Leaning back slightly, he looked at her, cataloguing every inch of her face in his mind. He felt a familiar pang as certain features reminded him of Holly.

* * *

   Mac had loved Holly right up until she abandoned him and their daughter to fend for themselves, and probably a bit beyond that as well. Even though she had constantly threatened abortion, he had stuck with her to try and show her that this could work. He supposed he should have seen it coming, but nothing could have prepared anyone from arriving home to what looked like a bomb site, devoid of life except for the wails only a new-born could produce. He should have stopped loving her then and there instead of torturing himself with empty hope that she would return to them. He had even kept the name she had chosen for their child, despite the fact that she had never considered names until she asked the doctor for one that meant 'unlucky'. Mac had had a mental list of names for the child, but hadn't ever shared them with her or tried to influence her decision, thinking that it might, for some reason, keep her here.

* * *

   In the two years since Mac met that peculiar woman, she had been stretching like the hair-elastics Mallory's dad put in her hair every morning, gathering up and becoming involved in almost every strand of their life until she snapped. Mallory was never really sure why it had happened, but the sad eyes her father had looked at her which told her that it was because of her, even though when she had asked if it was he had denied it outright. She could see it in his red rimmed eyes as he lay on the couch, watching her play with her favourite stuffed toys. Whenever she looked at him directly, he smiled and talked to her teddies like he was always part of the conversation, but when she looked away, he fell silent again. Occasionally, out of the corner of her eye, she could see him wipe something off his cheeks. She couldn't concentrate on her games, so she stood up and stepped over to the couch. With Mac's help, she pulled herself up and lay down beside him, fitting herself between his chest and his arms. He shifted slightly and wrapped his arms around her, cradling her head in the crook of his neck. She could feel him shaking. She could feel his heart crumbling.

* * *

   She was back in his life now, ruining it to the extent that he wished his secret disease would hurry up and take him already. She was newly married to some rich oil tycoon, with which she had two more children, but she still wanted her first back.

   And on her sixth birthday, too.

   It had been 2 months and 28 days since Mac had been told he had 4 months to live, something he had been unable to forget for even a moment since, but he was determined to on this day. It was Mallory's special day, the last she would celebrate with her father, even though she didn't know that yet, and Mac wanted to make it her best. Mallory had invited a dozen school mates around for a sugar-fuelled party, complete with a fairy princess, a pirate king (Mallory hadn't been able to choose), and a jumping castle all filling the communal back yard of their apartment block. To help it go smoothly, Mac had enlisted the help of his three closest friends; Guy, Caroline and Martin. Things had ended amicably between Mac and Caroline a few years earlier and they had remained friends, particularly when she began to date Guy. The three of them were happy to help as they knew what a big deal it was to him. Mac had been unable to keep his disease to himself, and so had confided in Guy who, being Guy, had told Caroline and Martin.

   A long trestle table was set out along the back fence of the garden, heavily laden with every party food under the sun. Mallory and her friends ran up and down it, between the castle and the makeshift fairy grotto where the fairy and pirate sat together, dressed-up kids jumping on and off their laps. Mac had been watching the scene, smiling and clutching a camera, poised for every opportunity that presented itself for a photo, when there was an awkward cough behind him. He turned, and the wide smile slipped off his face when he took in the curly, light-brown hair that framed a too-familiar face, an older version of the one he had seen every day for the past six years. Even though he had stopped loving her and begun to hate her several years ago, an odd mixture of emotions coursed through him.

   Holly looked him right in the eyes, appearing to be oblivious to the chaos around them. The sounds of the party seemed to dim when Holly opened her mouth to talk.

   "I want to take Mallory home."

* * *

   Originally, he had fought for Mallory. Not in court, it never got that far, but in the foyer of the apartment block, one-on-one with Holly. She didn't seem to understand that their daughter's home was with him, where she had spent all of her life so far. Holly remained annoyingly calm while Mac yelled at her, as if she knew a secret.

   "I know about your disease, Paul."

   That had stopped Mac right in his tracks, so much so that he didn't think to hit away her nickname for him. "H-how?"

   "I went to the hospital looking for you first, and they told me where to find you, but that you'd be busy with Mallory's birthday party. The fact that it would be her last with you slipped out. So much for doctor/patient confidentiality, huh," Holly said, not caring how the words would affect Mac.

   Mac didn't say anything, so she continued. "You're dying, Paul. My guess is that you've barely got two months left. You cannot take care of such a young child by yourself like this! What on earth where you thinking was going to happen to her when you died?"

   Finally, Mac found his voice again.

   "Up until this exact point in time, I have been taking care of her perfectly well, but guess who's fault it is that I had to do it alone! I haven't seen you for six years, and you might be surprised to hear that we've been doing alright for ourselves, and that I'm not actually completely alone. I have friends who have been helping me, like Guy and Caroline and Martin who are outside right now, _helping_. I had no idea how to contact you, not even a country to narrow it down, otherwise I might have called you and told you that I was dying, that Mallory would need someone, but instead, I've made do," Mac breathed deeply before he began again, his voice only slightly letting on to the anger he was feeling. "I made Guy and Caroline official godparents, so that when I die, they can take custody of Mallory and look after her. She was going to be looked after, do you really think I hadn't prepared at all?

   "But now you're here and you've thrown a spanner in the works, and I know that you're going to take her away from me, and I know that there is nothing I can do to stop you, even though I won't die knowing for certain that she is being cared for in a family that love her and deserve her. I don't want to have to take this to court, it'd be too hard on her, she's too young, but I want some assurances, and if you don't agree to them, I will do my utmost to keep her where she is, to keep her with people I trust."

   Holly nodded, almost imperceptibly, but that was enough for Mac.

* * *

   The day Mac was taken into hospital, one month later, Holly came to pick Mallory up from the hospital. Mallory knew who Holly was at this point, Mac had told her a little bit about her mother over the years, but since her birthday, the three of them had actually met up several times. At one of these meetings, Mac had told her what was happening, why it was happening. He told her that he was very, very sick and that, at some point, he would no longer be with them, which was when Holly would look after her. Mallory didn't like Holly, but she didn't say a word of that to Mac, and was less scared of the future when she learnt that her godparents would visit her regularly. She knew she could tell them anything, and they would listen.

   But of course she cried when Holly came to take her, because she knew what it meant. Mallory knew she would likely never speak to or see her father again, and she was going to live with people she barely knew. She tried to be happy for her father, though, because she saw the pain he was in during his final weeks. He was going to a place where he could sleep, where he would not have to feel pain and would not have to work, a place for which she was the cost.

   Mac died in his sleep only hours after Holly's car pulled out of the car park, Mallory buckled inside.

 

* * *

 

**2 Years Later**

   Mallory sat stiffly in a wooden chair in the witness box, barely able to see over the lip of the box, which she was grateful for. It meant she wouldn't have to look at her step-father at the defendants table. She focussed her eyes on her lap, thin arms wrapped around her torso, covering the patterns of bruises on her skin as she recited her statement to the court.

   From the rows of seats behind the defendants and prosecutors tables, Caroline and Guy watched the proceedings, only able to see Mallory's forehead, but knowing the horrible memories that were likely replaying themselves behind it as the 8-year old spoke. Their hands were clasped together as they listened to her, tears welling in their eyes. They could only be thankful that Mac wasn't here to see what had become of his little girl, forced to grow up beyond her years.

   It had all begun when Caroline and Guy had gone to the large house on one of their visits. They had heard a woman screaming and a man yelling as they got out of their car and ran to the front door, which had been barred to them. The police were rung, and Holly's husband was escorted out, though he put up a fight all the way to the blue and white car.

* * *

   Holly's husband was sentenced to 10 years behind bars for several accounts of domestic abuse, and Holly herself was declared as an unsuitable parent for her three young children. Holly and her two youngest went to live with her parents, who took legal custody of the children. With Holly's co-operation, Caroline and Guy were given legal custody of Mallory, as per Mac's original wishes.

   Finally, Mallory felt she could be happy without her father. She kept in contact with her two step-siblings, but tried to avoid Holly as much as she could, and enrolled in the local private school instead of the boarding school Holly and her husband had wanted to ship her off to. With their timetables organised to fit around each other, either Caroline, Guy or Martin was always available to help her and look after her. She knew she was loved, she knew her guardians would do the utmost to help her, whether with bullies or with homework, and she knew that they would always be there for her. But best of all, she knew that Mac would be happy with where she was now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Kudos + concrit always welcome!  
> x


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